Tailgating 101

This whole idea of tailgating is new to me. I thought tailgating was just an excuse for a bunch of people to get together, stuff their faces full of food, and get totally wasted all the while dressed in their favorite teams' colors. Usually, fighting ensues especially if fans of the rival team is also tailgating nearby. And then I realized, "Hey, wait a minute. I actually enjoy most of those things." Stuff my face with fried food? Delicious. Drunk people everywhere? An endless source of entertainment. Fighting amongst people? I grew up with brothers and can appreciate a good brawl. What is there not to love about tailgating? However, I did need to brush up on the finer points of tailgating so as not to embarrass myself or Nate.

Tailgating Rule #1- You must don the colors of your team. This is non-negotiable. I once tried to wear a blue shirt when the Utes were playing BYU. I came out of the bedroom wearing my blue shirt (which had nothing to do with BYU whatsoever) prompting Nate to say "You're not planning on wearing that are you?" His look of disgust was all I needed to see before I went and put on a Utah football sweatshirt over my blue shirt. I guess I could have been jumped for wearing something like that. Hudson obviously got the memo and showed up wearing proper attire.

Tailgating Rule #2- Brainwash your children while they are young. Seeing how I was raised to be a BYU fan, (thanks Mom) and then switched to the dark side following my marriage, I find this rule extremely important. Nate began at an early age with Bryn and Hudson and both have a fair amount of clothing and apparel with the Utah logo on it. Before the football season even began, Nate had Bryn chanting, "Go Utes!" as she marched around the house. It certainly didn't hurt that she was wearing a long shirt that Bryn quickly deemed her "Ute's dress." 

Tailgating Rule #3 Bring warm clothes. Seeing how we don't imbibe on spirits to warm our bellies, we must rely on coats and gloves to keep warm. This is invaluable advice because nobody really feels festive if they are freezing. You know those guys who paint themselves and stand half naked in the stands? Yeah, they are either drunk and beyond the point of feeling anything or are suffering from a mild form of hypothermia and are delirious. Football season in the state of Utah is cold. Always be prepared to bundle up while keeping in mind that Tailgating Rule #1 still applies.

Tailgating Rule #4: Any food can become fried food. Of all the rule, this is the one that I found the most disconcerting. While I thought food at the county fair was disgusting, true tailgaters take this "fried food" notion to the extreme. Anything that they could think of to fry, was quickly thrown into the fryer.  Sometimes I found myself longing for a vegetable tray or a fruit platter, but I kept my thoughts to myself. Only greasy, artery-clogging, heart-attack inducing cuisine was acceptable with this crowd. Hudson, who does not know the meaning of the word "picky-eater," blended right in was perfectly content stuffing his face.

Tailgating Rule #5: BYOW. For all those non-drinking tailgaters out there, this is a must. Nate and I quickly learned after our first tailgating experience that there are not very many options available if you don't drink beer so you must bring your own water. Despite the fact that there were quite a few children present, I was surprised by their lack of options. I actually overheard one little kid who was about 9 tell his other little friend, "Yeah, all we have in the cooler is beer. My dad says I'm not old enough to have one yet." Call me crazy, but I don't think tailgaters down at BYU are so concerned with Tailgating Rule #5. And there you have it, my friends. You have just completed Tailgating 101. Go out and celebrate.