The Calendar

Every Christmas, I make my mom a calendar for the upcoming year that has pictures of her very most favorite things in the world. . . her kids and grandkids. I started making my mom this calendar years ago when Clay was on his mission. I specifically had him send me pictures that my mom had never seen before and therefore she was in complete shock when she saw her calendar full of pictures of her kids from the previous year.

Now after 12 years, this calendar has become one of the most highly anticipated projects of the year. My sister-in-laws graciously send me pictures of their individual families which has been an enormous help. Trust me, before the boys got married, it was extremely slim pickings seeing how they never took pictures of themselves. Jocelyn and Heather have made this so much easier. Every year Nate makes fun of me and keeps trying to get me to do a digital one, but I am a purist, so I spend countless hours cropping, cutting, gluing and coming up with funny captions. As you can see, it is a serious undertaking and every year I vow that I will never make another one. And then when I give it to my mom and she looks at it over, and over, and over again, my icy heart softens and I think, "Well, maybe I could do it one more time. . . "

There's No Place like Home

Hudson was so excited to be going home. Our friend Lindsey was gracious enough to keep Bryn for the afternoon while Nate was at work, so on the way home from the hospital we stopped by the Grandstaff home to pick Bryn up. Honestly, I don't know who was more excited to see the other one. I opened the car door to put Bryn in her car seat and when Hudson laid eyes on her, he went berserk kicking his legs and reaching for her all the while with a big goofy grin on his face. Bryn just screeched with laughter and then said, "Oh Hudson. I have missed you!" Seriously, I don't know where her theatrics are coming from, but they are constantly keeping us amused.

Even though his oxygen tubing acted as a leash of sorts, Hudson could not wait to see all his toys and possessions he had been apart from for four whole days. We spent the evening camped out in the front room just playing and relishing in the place that we call home.

Primary Children's Hospital

Well, you know how the old truism goes, "Be careful what you wish for." Well, let's just say that we made a "donation" to Primary Children's Hospital much sooner and in a much different way than we had anticipated.

But, to backtrack a little bit, after we got home from the Festival of Trees we put the kids down to bed. Bryn was out like a light the moment her head hit the pillow and slept soundly throughout the night, but Hudson's night was entirely different than that of his sister. He wasn't interested in drinking his milk before bedtime, but we just chalked that up to the fact that he wasn't feeling good. Every couple of hours he would wake up, coughing, and just plain miserable. I spent the night pacing the hallway, rocking him, and attempting to get any type of fluid into his system.

When morning came, we all stayed home from church because I was exhausted and Nate started complaining about a sore throat. We headed over the in-laws for some dinner, where Hudson finally was able to get some much needed rest. He feel asleep on me and slept for nearly three hours. When he woke up around 5 PM, he was still very congested and was extremely warm. After giving him some Tylenol, we waited a few minutes and took his temperature which was topping out at 102 degrees. By this time, we were all getting extremely concerned so we left Bryn with the grandparents while Nate and I headed to Instacare with Hudson.

We were there for only a few minutes before they called us back. They stripped Hudson down to his diaper and started weighing and measuring him asking us questions while they examined him. I told them about his fever and how I was concerned he was getting dehydrated. They waived that off and asked, "How long has he been breathing like that?" I looked at Hudson and saw that instead of a normal rise and fall of the chest, he was sucking his ribcage in and out every time he took a breath.  They checked his blood oxygen which is supposed to be at least around 94%. He was in the mid to low 80s. The doctor came and said, "Your son is not getting enough oxygen, and if we can't raise his oxygen level, we need to send him to Primary Children's Hospital by ambulance immediately.

Not getting enough oxygen? Primary Children's Hospital? Ambulance? By this time, I was on the verge of tears. We came to Instacare concerned about his fever and dehydration thinking he might have strep throat, and then all of sudden we are talking about his inability to breathe. They pulled out a long tube, shoved it up his nose, and attempted to do "deep suction" to remove all the fluid and then started him on an albuterol treatment. There was no improvement and the doctor turned to a nurse and said, "Call an ambulance." I turned to the doctor and said, "We can drive him down there right now." I said this because I didn't want to wait, or for that matter, pay for an ambulance to take him to Salt Lake. The doctor looked at me sympathetically and said, "I can't let you do that. He is working really hard trying to breathe and if he were to all of a sudden tire out, he could stop breathing all together on I-15."

Wait, what!?! There was a possibility of him stop breathing altogether? Finally the seriousness of the situation hit me, and with tears slipping down my cheeks, I could only nod my head as they explained what they were going to do. Nate suggested I ride with Hudson in the ambulance while he updated his parents and ran home to get clothing and toiletries for myself and Hudson and would then meet us in the emergency room at PCH.

The ambulance arrived and we headed towards Salt Lake. The EMTs attempted another albuterol treatment and constantly checked his vitals. It's amazing how the mind tries to understand and comprehend the world around it when it is suddenly thrust into chaos. Such random thoughts, but I remember thinking, "Hudson isn't strapped into a car seat. I hope these guys drive carefully. I should put on my seatbelt. Nope. I am going to stay right here next to my baby. Are the sirens on? I don't hear them. I hope nobody hits us when we go through red light. . . "

We got to PCH where they ushered us into a room. Immediately, a respiratory therapist came in and proceeded to do another "deep suction." Poor little man screamed and did not like that. To be honest though, who would want a tube shoved all the way up your nose, down your throat, attempting to suck out fluid all the while barely being able to breathe. Hudson got hooked up to oxygen again and then a nurse came in to put in an IV to hydrate him, pump some medicine in for a slight ear infection, as well as to draw blood for some tests. Immediately, I had flash backs to the horrendous experience we had when an inept nurse attempted to draw blood from Bryn and literally had a needle in her arm for over two minutes fishing around trying to slide it into the vein. This experience was vastly different. And these guys were pros. She had the IV in within seconds, all taped up, and covered with a wrap so Hudson couldn't pick at it. A doctor came in, discussed all their findings, and relayed the bad news. Hudson had a slight ear infection, bronchiolitis, and needed to stay until his breathing improved.

Nate arrived with cheeseburgers and fries (he is a saint) which made me realize I hadn't eaten anything for over 9 hours and was starving. Nate brought all the stored milk I had, and Hudson even was able to drink about 4 ounces which I was extremely happy about. It took them a couple of hours to get a room prepared for us and around 11:30 PM they brought us into a private room. I met Hudson's nurse who helped us get situated for the night, and by the time I was done with all the preparations around 1AM, I promptly fell asleep on a pull out couch.

The nurses came in every four hours to check his vitals, listen to his lungs, and usually had to do more deep suction even if he was fast asleep. The next morning, he woke up and looked quite miserable but was still on the mend. I was optimistic about being able to leave that night, but those hopes were dashed around 10 AM when the residents started making their rounds. Because of the amount of deep suction which were performed and his still low blood pulse oxygen levels, we settled in for another long day. Hudson, bless his heart, couldn't figure out why he was surrounded and hooked up to so many cords. I spent most of the day trying to distract him from the cords and untangling them when he managed to tie them into knots.

That evening we had a couple of visitors pop in and, once again, graciously bringing me some food this time in the form of a Café Rio salad as well as my computer. Brynlee was a little concerned when she saw Hudson hooked up to all his cords, but that wouldn't stop her from sitting by him and giving him plenty of love and kisses. After Nate and Bryn stayed for a little over a hour, Nate went home to put Bryn to bed and we settled in for another long night.

On the morning of December 4th, Hudson woke up remarkably happy and was looking much better. They unwrapped his hand which is when I saw a giant blister on his little hand from where the wrap had been irritating the skin. The wound clinic nurse came into check on it, and after examining it for 15 seconds said, "Well, it is a blister. Just don't pop it." This was the only complaint I had about our entire stay. They charged our insurance over $200 for this quick visit which was their fault in the first place. In the grand scheme of things, after all the adjustments and contractual agreements were taken off, I am sure we only paid like $10, but still it was completely outrageous. It's no wonder people cannot afford healthcare. 

Anyways, we were once again hopeful that we would be able to leave that afternoon, but those hopes were quickly dashed after the doctors made their rounds. Hudson was improving, but still required deep suction and was not able to keep his oxygen levels high enough on his own. 

That afternoon, we had some more visitors stop by. Imagine my surprise when a lady knocked on the door and standing, or rather looming, behind her were two gigantic basketball players from the Utah Jazz. My family has been devoted Utah Jazz fans for as long as I can remember, so it made this little unexpected visit very cool. They signed a little basketball for Hudson which kept him entertained for the rest of the afternoon. I called my little brother Tony, who happened to be celebrating his birthday, and relayed our experience. I even offered to give him the signed basketball for his birthday which he quickly shot down. He said, "For all Hudson has been through, he has earned that ball!"

 

We had so many calls and texts from all our family members scattered throughout the country all wanting updates and expressing concern about our little man. Cody, my brother who is an orthopedic surgeon, called for a daily status update and wanted me to relate all the medical jargon the doctors were telling me, keeping them honest. Clay, my pharmacist brother, was interested in what types of medications he was taking and would double check to make sure there were no interactions between them. It sure is nice having health professionals in the family. Treatment of a patient means more when it is one of your own relatives and we were extremely grateful for their expertise. We also received lots of texts and calls from caring grandparents, aunts, and cousins that helped break up the monotony of the long days.

It wasn't long after we got there, that Hudson began to charm all the doctors and nurses on the entire floor. Once he started feeling a little better, he would smile and blow raspberries kisses which caused all the nurses to coo over him. His little antics ensured that he got whatever he wanted. Whether it was new toys or an extra container of pureed peas, Hudson had those nurses wrapped around his little chubby finger his entire stay. Hudson ate up the attention, especially when such attention was heaped upon him by blond nurses. I think the nurses were just happy to see a little kid who was getting better and would leave the hospital. I am sure they see a lot of cases in which most kids aren't that lucky.

After four days in the hospital, we were finally able to leave in the afternoon on December 5th. Hudson still had to be on oxygen and we were given a prescription for deep suction for a clinic in Bountiful should we need it. Once they began relaying all of the instructions about having him on oxygen at home, I started to feel a little nervous. There were so many stipulations about the positioning of the oxygen tanks, proper ventilation while driving etc that I was beginning to have second thoughts about leaving. But, as all healthcare workers know, hospitals are are nothing more than breeding grounds for diseases, and the last thing I wanted was for one of us to pick up something more serious like RSV or a staph infection. In the end, we decided it was best for us to go home.

As you can see, Hudson was just as excited about going home as I was even though we were well taken care of. Seriously, I have nothing but good things to say about all the staff members we came in contact with everyone from the janitorial staff to the respiratory therapist. Each and everyone went out of their way to make sure we were as comfortable as possible. I still want to buy one of those Christmas trees and make a donation to Primary Children's Hospital. Just not this year: we are a little tapped out : )

Festival of Trees

All together now. "It's the most wonderful time of they year. . ." To officially kick off the start of the Christmas season, Nate and I took the kids to the Festival of Trees. Just imagine. Hundreds of elaborately decorated trees each with their own theme that looked at if they jumped off the pages of a holiday catalog. Needless to say, I was in heaven. 

When Brynlee saw this set-up, she literally had a sharp intake of breath, followed by an "Oh my," said in a hushed tone. Of all the toys and decorations in the whole convention center, I am sure nothing was more coveted than these ornate princess dresses. I know Brynlee sure wished they would be found hanging in her closet on Christmas Day.

I saw this creepy statue, and turned to find Nate who taken Brynlee to the other side of the aisle. I grabbed his arm and said, "Nate, look! That hideous thing is going to give me nightmares tonight." He looked at me and burst into laughter. He laughed a little too hard at my not-so-funny joke, and when he finally was able to catch his breath he said, "When we were just looking at that, Bryn said, 'Look Dad. That lady looks like Mommy!" Awesome. Talk about a kick in the teeth. I have been compared to a lot of things, but never to a hideous, nightmare-inducing mannequin with ratty old hair. My self-esteem definitely took a hit following that little comment.

Poor Hudson was a little under the weather. We thought he would be fascinated by all the decorations and twinkling lights, but my poor little man was just too miserable to enjoy any of it. He spent most of the evening snuggling with me or Nate. And when our arms got tired, Grandma was more than willing to step in.

I think the whole idea and the purpose of the Festival of Trees is pretty inspiring. Each of the trees and wreaths are auctioned off with all the proceeds going directly to Primary Children's Hospital. These proceeds then go to help offset some of the medical costs families incur while their child is staying at the hospital. Just reading some of the stories about the kids is enough to break your heart and makes you realize that health, especially that of your own child, is something that should never be taken for granted. I told Nate that once we are in a position to do so, I would love to purchase one of these trees and help support such a worthy cause.

Throughout the convention center, there were different plaques and signs with quotes on them, typically centered around dealing with the loss of a loved one. My favorite one was attributed to Winnie the Pooh and said, "If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart; I'll stay there forever." It was a wonderful way to start off the holiday season.



The Birthday Party of Sir Talmage

My sweet little nephew Talmage turns three on December 2nd. Due to geographic complications, we have never been able to celebrate with him, so we were extremely excited when we learned that Jocelyn's dad and step-mom wanted to throw an impromptu birthday party for him. After all the errands we ran earlier, Hudson was not feeling particularly festive, so we left him at home with Nate and headed down to Bountiful for the party. 

Here we have all the lords and ladies who attended the royal fanfare. As you can see, the ladies outnumbered the lords which the gentleman didn't seem to mind one bit. While hot dogs and potato chips were being prepared, all the kids decorated their own crowns. Brynlee was having the time of her life bedazzling her crown with jewels and glitter. So much so, that it took us nearly a week to remove all the glitter from her hair and scalp.

After dinner, the boys scarfed down some birthday cupcakes while most of the girls daintly picked at their cupcakes. And when I say "picked," what I really mean is just ate the frosting. I swear, we should have just given them a bowl of frosting with a spoon and said, "Here you go. Knock yourselves out."

       

While the kids ate, I was able to spend a little quality time with my newest little nephew Trisdan. It took a little while for him to warm up to me, but by the end of the night we were snuggle buddies. He is so small compared to my little moose. And I just love the smell of new babies. . . almost makes me miss having a newborn around, but then that moment of insanity passes and I think, "Nope. I am perfectly happy with my burgeoning 8 month old."

Once the kids were all hyped up on sugar, chaos broke out. I am not quite sure how it happened, but one minute I was standing there and then the next minute I became a trampoline of sorts. At one point, I believe one of "ladies" actually came up and kidney-punched me. Definitely not "lady-like" behavior if you ask me. But then again, the "royals" are the ones who make up the rules and the rest of us have to play by them.

We have been spoiled these last couple of weeks having Jocelyn and the boys in town. We will sure miss them when they head back to California. Now I feel like I should throw in some type of of Shakespearian quote about how "parting is such sweet sorrow" and all, but that's corny and I don't do corny.  : )

El Sombrero

First of all, for all those politically correct haters out there, I am aware that this is not a sombrero. This is in fact an authentic Tahitian straw hat made for Nate while on his mission, and it has quickly become the bane of my existence. Somehow Brynlee came across this little gem, and has scarcely taken it off since that fateful day. This hat has quickly become the source of nearly every conflict in our house over the last week and, if we only had a fireplace, it would solve all my problems.

And just for an abstract comparison, I want to liken the effects this hat has on its wearer to the effects one might exhibit while drinking alcohol. First of all, this hat brings out the wild and craziness that is buried deep within. One might lose all sense of inhibition and be perfectly fine with that. It is often paired with food that enhances it taste. It is possible to lose your clothes while wearing this hat, making it difficult for one to remember where said clothes were discarded. Confusion can be present accompanied by animosity if someone tries to take it from you by saying, "You've been cut off." And lastly, one might wake up with injuries (like a gash on the forehead) to which one would have no recollection on how it was received. Like I said, I need to burn this hat. 

Trimming the Tree

Personally, I think the holiday season goes by much too quickly. So here at the Burk household, we like to squeeze out every drop of the festive holidays as we can. While living in DC, we started putting our decorations and Christmas tree up the weekend of Thanksgiving just so we could enjoy them for as long as possible seeing how we left for Utah immediately following Nate's finals. This is a tradition Nate and I decided to keep once we moved to Utah. And as you can see here, it looks like Christmas threw up all over our front room. 

On the way home from Bryce Canyon, we stopped and did a little Black Friday shopping at H&M, and then headed to our favorite "go to" place for Christmas ornaments, Crate & Barrel. Every year we allow our children to pick out their own ornament and then we place their name and the year in which they picked it out. Nate makes fun of me because, in my mind, I have always envisioned my family's Christmas tree like the ones in the catalogs where all the ornaments match and compliment one another. Nate scoffed openly about that idea and asked, "Well, where are we going to put all the Christmas ornaments the kids make out of Popsicles sticks and glitter?" To which I responded, "In a bin, hidden out of sight."

After being accused of being a Grinch and dashing the poor hopes of our not-even school-aged crafting children, we decided that once we had a house big enough, we would get two trees: one with according to Nate, all the "boring, zero creativity, matching ornaments which will be down in the basement where nobody can see it" and the other "awesome tree with paper snowflakes bedazzled with glitter and cotton balled snowmen hanging from the branches, will be prominently displayed in the front room for all the neighbors to enjoy and secretly covet."

What made me think of this conversation you ask? Why, that would be Brynlee's ornament choice this year. She picked an elephant. Whoever thought an elephant was an appropriate object for a Christmas tree ornament should be taken outback behind the woodshed and flogged. I tried to persuade her to get something else, anything else, but she fell in love with that damn elephant. Nate laughed triumphantly and said, "She has made her choice. That's the one she wants." This elephant on my Christmas tree is going to give me anxiety for the next 15 years, I just know it. But maybe, just maybe, years down the road, I will be able to laugh about this.

This being Hudson first year in existence, he officially became a full fledged member of the family when he picked out his first very own Christmas ornament. Thankfully, Hudson chose a cute little fat elf, quite possibly because the round tummy and chubby cheeks reminded him of himself. But that is just a theory.

Now that the tree is trimmed and the decorations are out, we can officially celebrate the commencement of the Christmas season!